Lynley Mysteries Barbara's love
by Jumaolster
Summary: Azhar and Barbara love story
1. After the fight

Disclaimer: Not mine…… but in my mind they are the Lynley & Havers of the TV series…

Azhar often thought about his neighbour. Barbara intrigued him, she was so different from most people. He took another deep gulp of his darjeeling tea, and sighed.

They'd had a big fight the same evening, and actually he had to admit to himself that Barbara had been mostly right. They'd been discussing Hadiyyah, who according to Barbara was very disturbed by her mother's absence, and not at all fooled by the "holiday in Canada routine". Azhar was ashamed to admit that he'd gone ballistic on Barbara, telling her to mind her own business and not to meddle.

He'd seen to hurt in her eyes, breaking eye contact and slumping her shoulders, pulling them down and towards her chest, like she did when she retreated into her shell. He'd wanted to appologise right away, but his blasted pride had stopped him. He knew she was right, and that he really needed to adress the issue of Angela's disappearance, but he still felt so completely humiliated by the fact that she'd left him, and so angry that she'd also left Hadiyyah, that he just felt it impossible to deal with.

Barbara had mumbled something that sounded like a "sorry" and had gone back to her little appartment, firmly closing the door behind her.

Azhar cursed silenty. He'd watched her going back to her door, and as always, he'd been reminded of how much he appreciated her body type. Petite, but with well rounded hips. He also had a weakness for small feet and hands, and Barbara's were just perfect.

He knew she was pathologically shy, and that she probably had some intimacy issues, but he still really enjoyed her company.

Lately he'd been getting used to the idea of divorcing Angela, and thinking more and more about Barbara. She was so good with Haddiyya, and he hoped she would be able to overcome her issues. Actually he thought he was just the right man to help her.

Before they started arguing, he'd been planning on asking her up for dinner that night, since Hadiyya was on a sleepover at her friend's house. But now, instead, he was sitting alone having tea. And, he thought with sadness, Barbara was sitting alone in her appartment, probably eating something from a jar instead of his home made curry. He caught himself imagining how he'd take some of the curry directly out the pot and feeding her a spoonful. In his daydream, Barbara made little appreciative noises...

That decided it. He put his teacup down with a bang, grabbed the keys and headed for the door. He rushed down to Barbara's place, and knocked at the door.

"Coming!" Barbara called from inside the flat. He heard her bustle around, and then she opened the door. She was wearing her pj's with a morning gown on top, her long redish blond hair open, falling down her shoulders and smelling like vanilla.

"I'm so sorry I was rude to you earlier, Barbara. I know you're right, it's just all so difficult...", Azhar said it all at once, before his stupid pride could stop him.

Barbara gave him a shy smile and stepped aside, letting him in.

"Right. I know it's difficult. Most things are, right? But Haddiyya is a great kid. And besides, she's pretty much figured things out already. And also, I think she merits the truth."

As always, Barbara had summed things up perfectly in just a sentence. He smiled sadly at her. He didn't know how to go about things, he didn't want to make her nervous, but suddenly he could hear himself saying:

"Barbara, why are you alone? You understand more about people than anyone else I know, you're very pretty and fun to be around, but in the time you've lived here, I've never seen you date? "

He could see Barbara starting to withdraw immediately, but he wasn't going to let that happen.

He put his hand under her chin and gently forced her head upwards, until she was looking straight at him. To his horror, he could see tears in her eyes.

"No, Barbara, don't cry! I didn't want to upset you, please!" He cupped her face in both his hands, and lightly put his lips to her forehead. He could feel her tremble, and drew her closer to him until he was embracing her. They stood in her small living room holding each other, and he could feel her slowly relax in his arms.

Then she mumbled into his shirt:

"I'm not good with people. I always fight, and I'm not good with people. I've never had what you call a relationship in my life, other than with my family and with work."

He rested his head against hers, not knowing if he'd completely understood what she just had said.

She really smelled good. He kissed Barbara's forehead, and then looked into her green eyes, still glittering with tears.

He kissed the tip of her nose, and she started to lean into him.

"Please, Azhar, please, only if you really mean it. I'm not going to change into some perfect wife over night, and I don't know how to live with someone, and..."

And he kissed her. At first she wasn't kissing him back, and Azhar worried he might have gone to far, but then she answered his kiss. He wondered how far he should go, and decided that it would be best to let her set the pace for now.

They stood there, kissing, for what seemed like an eternity, until she broke off and looked up at him, breathlessly. He smiled at her, and to his joy, she smiled back. He put his arm around her slim shoulders, and said:

"I really mean it, Barbara. We're great friends, we uderstand each other, I'm miserable when you're not around. I think we should take things slowly, and I'm not going to rush you into doing something you're not ready for."

Her morning gown had fallen open, and he was seriously distracted by the sight of Barbara in her pjs. It had a low cut v neck, and he could sort of see her soft breasts under the fabric.

He realised she was starting to feel uncomfortable under his stare, and took the sides of her morning gown, closing it around her. She smiled at the floor and shyly opened it again, taking it off and putting it on the kitchen chair.

"We don't have to take things all THAT slowly. I really liked what we did before, you know. Maybe we could do some more of that?"

Azhar was happy she felt she could trust him, but he was in no hurry. He'd realised she was quite inexperienced, and didn't want to mess thing up by scaring her. The he thought of something:

"Barbara, are you on any form of protection?" He asked her softly, and when she shook her head silently, he added:

"There is no hurry. We can just enjoy each others company for now, there are many things we can try while you get orgnaized." He was very glad to avoid the matter this way, and pulled her down with him, sitting down in the kitchen with her on his lap. He let her take the lead, and she started to kiss him again. He held her face with one hand, supporting her back with the other. When he felt she was completely at ease, he put the tip of his tongue into her mouth and started to explore her. First he felt Barbara stiffening a bit, but then she realxed.

Suddenly he could hear her stomach growl. She freed herself from his kiss, giggling, a bit embarrased to have ruined the moment.

He laughed with her.

"C'mon, Barbara, I've made some curry! You'll love it, what do you say?"

Barbara was kind of relieved they could put things off until she'd gotten used to the new situation. And she really could need some food.

She threw a coat on, and slipped into some shoes, and together they headed for Azhars appartment and some wonderful homemade curry...


	2. Later that evening

Later that evening, Barbara lay in her bed, contemplating life general and the previous events in particular. They'd had a wonderful impromtu dinner, with curry and tea, and then Azhar had walked her back to her flat. She just could not believe what had happened, and slowly, the make out glow was vanishing, being replaced by her old fears and doubts.

She wiggled her toes nervously. What if she'd made an idiot of herself, and Azhar changed his mind? What if Angela suddenly came back, and what if Haddiyyah wasn't happy about them?

Barbara felt a strong sense of panic rising all through her stomach, and clutching her chest she started crying quietly.

She was never going to pull the boyfriend thing off. She was useless about these things, and no one, not even Azhar, would have the patience to stick with her. She wasn't capable of living with other people, and would never get used to all these new things.

She was in dire need of comfort, and put the lights on.

Practically running to her mini cupboard, she turned all the lights on as she went along. Arriving at the cupboard, she pulled out an old ragged dirty teddy bear.

It had been her brother Terry's. He'd been sleeping with it all those long nights at the hospital, and she'd kept it all these years. Holding it tightly, she went back to bed, pulling the covers all the way over her ears.

Then, her mobile phone chirped beside her. Looking at the display and seeing Azhar's name, she answered:

"Azhar?" voice trembling, maybe he'd realised his mistake already...

"Hey, Barbara,", his soft voice came over the line, " I just wanted to wish you a good night again. I saw the lights on?" There was a question there, he'd realised she was nervous about what had happened and wanted to reassure her.

Barbara felt a rush of relief.

"OH, Azhar, I suddenly thought you might change your mind, and then I got all crying scared, and..."

Azhar was greatful Haddiyyah was old enough to go on sleepovers.

"Barbara, I'd like to come and spend the night at your place, just sleeping." Before she could protest he threw the receiver down, grabbed his keys, putting on his jacket over his pjs on the way out but not bothering to change his flip flops into shoes. He arrived at her flat exactly 20 seconds later, and Barbara was at the door waiting for him.

He smiled at her.

"We're both difficult, eh? We can make this work, we just need to approach this the right way. I need to legally separate from Angela, and then we need to take things slowly for Haddiyyah's sake. For now we'll just go on with our present living arrangements and see."

Barbara looked exhausted. He took her by the hand and led her to her bed. He covered her up with her blanket, not missing the presence of the teddy bear. He then lay down on top of the covers, covering with the extra blanket. He could feel Barbara relaxing against him immediately, and she was soon asleep, curled up in his arms.

Azhar quietly set his mobile phone's alarm to 6 a.m., he knew Barbara had to work the next day, and he wanted to be back at his appartment when Haddiyya was dropped of by her friend's mother.

Satisfied he'd covered all bases, he fell deeply asleep not waking before the blaring sound of his cell phone woke both of them with a start the next morning.

Barbara looked adorable. Her eyes all shiny from sleep, hair all mussed up, she looked very much the same as Haddiyyah did waking up.

Azhar laughed quietly.

"Good morning Barbara!" She giggled at him. Leave it to Azhar to be formal at 6 a.m. in the morning.

"Morning to you too!" She smiled at him. She was glad she'd have all day at work to mull the 180 degree turn her life had taken yesterday.

She wondered if she could confide in Lynley. He was still very much in the anger phase of the mourning process, and had been very difficult to deal with in the past couple of months. Only her undying love-admiration and loyalty towards him kept her going. Maybe she could test the waters and if he was in a slightly better mood than usually, she could try and just tell him casually about havind dinner with Azhar, and see how he reacted. It would help that today was Saturday, and Hillier would not be around to ruin anyone's mood, and Winston had the weekend off. It would just be the two of them...

Azhar said:

"If you get into the shower, I'll go and make coffee. I must be out of here discreetly before Mrs Farinelli gets out of bed..." They both giggled. Haddiyyah refered to Mrs Farinelli in the second floor flat as "the gossip lady upstairs", and this was a very fitting decription. Mrs Farinelli had emmigrated from Venice in 1935 at the age of 15, to marry her now late husband. At 87, and a widow for over 40 years, she saw it as her job to keep track of everyone on the block. Needless to say, she was truly excellent at her job. She also always rose at 6.30 a.m., so Barbara rushed into the shower, then had coffee with Azhar, and he was out of there by 6.25.

A quick glance up towards the second floor window, he assured himself that Mrs Farinelli wasn't checking the surroundings, and he hurried towards the door.

Little did he know that Mrs Farinelli had had trouble sleeping last night, and already was on the phone to organize a coffee break with Mrs Tettemanti down the street...


	3. Saturday shift with Lynley part 1

I forgot this: Mrs Farinelli and mrs Tettamanti are my inventions…… 

Barbara felt better than she had felt since Helen's death. She'd been profoundly saddened by her death, and seeing Lynley struggling every day with the pain of loosing Helen and the baby sometimes brought her to tears.

Barbara decided to dress nicely, in case Azhar was at home after her shift. She but on a pair of black jeans, a green tank top, and a black figurehugging shirt on top, and quickly braided her hair into a french braid, so it would be out of her face for the entire day. She even put some parfume on, and quickly rubbed her black "very sensible" walking shoes with a baby wipe until they were shining.

When she headed out the door at 07.00 a.m., she was just 20 minutes late on her marching schedule. She glanced up towards Azhar's window, and was happy to see him standing in the window, waving at her. She waved back and ran for the car just as Mrs Farinelli came walking out the door, propped against her walker.

"Barbara, dear?" Her still sharp voice sang out over the little court yard.

"_Darn!"_ Barbara tought before smiling at Mrs Farinelli, saying:

"What can I do for today, Mrs F? I'm a bit late for work, but if you want me to drop you off somewhere, please just tell me!"

"Oh, what a kind offer!" Mrs Farinelli had been standing in the doorway for 20 minutes waiting for Barbara to appear so she could hitch a ride and pump Barbara discreetly for information.

As soon as they were off in the car, Mrs Farinelli said:

"H'e a truly nice gentleman, that Mr Taynullah, eh? And his little girl is such a joy! It's a pity his wife left, but then, I think life goes on, doesn't it?" She gave Barbara her most innocent smile, forgetting the fact that even though Barbara was a bit naive and innocent sometimes, she was still a hard-nosed streetwise copper...

Alarmbells went off in Barbara's brain as soon as Mrs Farinelli started talking.

"_Easy, girl, don't give anything away here"_ she thought, and smiled sweetly at Mrs Farinelli:

"Yes, you're so right, Mrs F!" (_better not commit to anything_). She stepped on the gas, and arrived at Mrs Tettamanti's house in a record 5 minutes. Mrs Farinelli had sensed she wouldn't get anything from Barbara at the moment, but that happy glow emanating from every pore of Barbara's being was a dead giveaway – Mrs Farinelli was satisfied indeed. She'd keep a close eye on developments, yes she would.

Barbara dropped of Mrs Farinelli, thinking to be in the clear, and hurriedly headed for the Met. Thank goodness it was Saturday, and traffic was scarse.

She needn't have worried. She was at her desk 5 minutes before Lynley came into the office, and he called her into his office at once, to programme the days work. They didn't have any major case going on, which was unusual, but they'd decided to work on case review and paperwork over the weekend. Lynley hated being alone on the weekends since Helen died, and Barbara so far had had no particular reason for wanting to stay at home either, and had been happy to be off on Tuesdays and Wednesday, leaving Lynley at home on Mondays and Thursdays. Obviously when they had a case, they couldn't take any days off, and both of had many extra days to take,

Barbara had made some fresh coffee and brought two cups of coffee for both her and Lynley for the briefing.

He didn't look too good today. She suspected he still drank too much sometimes, and she knew from experience that cooking for one person and then eating alone wasn't all that much fun. She'd therefore brought some sandwiches from the Met cantine, making sure they were fresh made and appetizing. She knew that he knew that she was motherhenning him, but neither of them spoke about it.

After a couple of deep gulps of coffee and some bits of the sandwich, Barbara thought Lynley looked better allready. She decided to test the waters...

"Sir, do you remember Mr Taymullah? You know, my neighbour?" She nearly got cold feet about talking to him, and felt herself going red all over her face down her neck. Damned be her eternal shyness!

Lynley was quite amused. He was feeling a lot better after eating something ( he made a mental note to make sure he paid Barbara back somehow for all the food she'd been bringing him) and by the time Barbara dared to look at him, he even had a little bit of his old twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, Barbara, of course I do."

He wasn't going to help her and used his "big bad boss" voice on her. He'd been hoping for years that Barbara would find someone, and she was quite obviously smitten by her neighbour. And why not? Taymullah was an experienced man with a successful career, and as far as Lynley had been able to tell from the few times they'd met, had raised a charming daughter.

Barbara decided to change tactics.

"He cooks a killer curry, see, Sir." She dearly hoped he wouldn't want to go into how she knew that, she'd realised she wasn't feeling comfortable enough about the situation to talk to Lynley yet. "And yesterday he cooked some extra, and if you want, see Sir, I could bring two portions for lunch tomorrow?" She started smiling, and Lynley immediately knew that something more was up. But years of experience as a police investigator had taught him that patience really is a virtue and he just said:

"Yes, Barbara, I'd like that very much." As the matter of fact, Lynley wasn't too keen on spicy food, but for Barbara's sake, he'd make an exception. She'd tell him all about it when she was ready. She always did. With that, he went back talking about work and they spent the remainder of the morning working pretty much silently.

Barbara continued contemplating what she should tell Lynley, she really needed to talk to someone. She didn't really have any close girlfriends to gossip with and to ask advice from, and by lunch time she was bursting with the want to talk to someone. She even entertained a fleeting thought of calling Winston, but decided he was probably spending the day in bed with (one of ) his girlfriend(s). Lynley could see that she was just dying to tell him about what had happened with Taymullah.

By now he'd known Barbara for years, and knew all he'd have to do was to wait. He was curious though, what could have made Barbara all this giddy? He knew she loved curry, but but that wasn't enough. He'd also noticed she'd taken particular care to dress today, and suspected her interest for her neighbour to be the reason.

Suddenly, Barbara couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"Yesterday I had a huge fight with Azhar, and then he came to my house to appologize and we ended up kissing and he stayed at my place because Haddiyyah was on a sleepover!" She blurted it out all at once, feeling like a teenager getting caught by her father necking with a boyfriend.


	4. Saturday shift with Lynley part 2

Barbara grew a dark shade of red again and wished for the zillionth time she had an easier way with people...

Lynley managed to mask his surprise at this revelation. He'd known something was up, but he hadn't counted on it being such big news.

He immediately sensed the irony of him being single while Barbara was possibly headed for coupleship, but he was happy for her. He knew that she was a very complicated person with some serious interpersonal difficulties, but he really regarded her as something of a little sister. He wanted good things for her, and hoped she was not headed for heartbreak.

"Ah, well, Barbara..." She felt his gaze on her, and looked up at him. He could see a million emotions running over her face. Knowing how important this was for her, and also knowing how easily her feelings were hurt he threaded lightly.

"Do you want to tell me some more about it?" He smiled at her reassurlingly, deciding to play it safe.

She rubbed her nose. Lynley knew that was her "tell", whenever she was at a loss of words or didn't know what to do, she pulled her shoulders in towards her and rubbed her nose.

She scraped up her courage, knowing he would never laugh at her or betray her trust.

"I don't really have a girlfriend to talk to, Sir, even though Winston is really good at giving advice... " She was smiling now.

"I don't know where this thing with Azhar is going, Sir, but I really really like him. He's still married to Angela, that's Hadiyyah's mum, and she doesn't really know for sure that her mum's left them. And you know I haven't ever really had a boyfriend. I don't know what to do... in more sense than one." Barbara somehow felt like she was running a marathon, and took a deep breath.

Lynley thought about it for some seconds and then said carefully:

" Go with the flow, Barbara, and let the relationship develop. I must say though, that I don't agree with you seeing a married man, and I hope Azhar is in the process of getting his divorce on the way."

Barbara thought it was a good thing for now that Lynley didn't know about Azhar's forst wife and children... It was partly Azhar's fault of course, but his life hadn't been easy. Hoever TWO divorces doesn't look like a good track record...

Lynley had had no idea that Azhar was still married to Hadiyyah's mum, and actually didn't like it one bit, his Barbara mixed up in a messy divorce?

"Azhar needs to talk to his daughter of course, and I don't think that will be easy. "

Lynley decided to take the plunge, feeling a bit silly about discussing sex and intimacy with Barbara, but then again, she'd seen him at his worst a couple of times... No time to be shy here.

"As for all the other things, intimacy is not so much about experience as it is about listening to each other, and following each others wishes and being sensitive to each other's needs. I can just tell you, really, that you should set the pace and only do things you feel comfortable with. Azhar is a grown man and I'm sure he knows how to be patient in case you need some more time." He hoped he hadn't gone to far into detail with the advice. Secretly he hoped that Azhar would be sensitive enough to understand Barbara's needs.

Barbara bit her lip. She obviously knew the biology of intimacy, but as time went by it had felt more and more difficult to approach members of the other sex. Everyone seemed to be so at ease, and only she wasn't comfortable, and she'd never been able to let go and let someone close enough. She suffered from a really acute sense of inadequacy in the matter, and even undressing completely in someone's presence felt difficult. The idea of adressing the matter with Azhar embarrased her to no end, she was still hoping he'd just figure things out himself.

Lynley saw her doubts and continued:

"You'll be just fine. Don't worry. Things are easier once they happen, you know? And if Azhar spent the night at your place already, and you felt good about it, I wouldn't worry about the next step."

Just for one fleeting moment he suddenly had a vision of Barbara kissing a man. Bending her backwards in the kiss, and touching her long golden red hair, Barbara making little noises.

He felt a twist of jealousy somewhere deep in his heart. If Barbara had a boyfriend, she wouldn't be just his Barbara anymore, and he did not like the feeling of loosing control over the situation. However fot the moment, he stored that thought firmly away, refusing to get into detail. He felt like an idiot being disturbed by the thought of Barbara having sex, where on earth did all those cave man feelings come from?

However, his advice must have been just the right thing to say, because Lynley could see Barbara relaxing and starting to smile again. He guessed that she'd been comfortably in Azhars company and with the kissing, and had just needed some reassurance on the matter.

There had been a bit too much of tension going on, and Lynley felt the need to lighten things up.

"Come along, Barbara, I'll take you to lunch! With all this talking, I'm both thirsty and hungry, and we can discuss your upcoming court appearance in the Ryder case over a hot meal!"

Barbara gave him one of the prettiest and brightest smiles he'd seen in ages, and ran off to get her coat. Lynley smiled as well. Somehow Barbara's love woes and developments had made him feel something other than anger and grief for a change. He followed her out of his office, and galantly helped her with her coat, making a mental note to himself to check up on Azhars divorce intentions in a couple of weeks.


	5. Telling Hadiyyah

After work that day, Barbara stopped by the supermarket to do some grocery shopping and picked up some nice bath and shower gel as well. Smelling nice is always important, she told herself. By the time she came home, it was late afternoon, and getting quite chilly. She'd make herself a cup of tea before seeing what Azhar and Hadiyyah were up to. Arriving at the door, she found a note from Azhar, and anxiously slugged her bags inside to read the note.

"_I decided to talk to Hadiyya about the situation with her mum. It didn't go to well. Come over?"_

Tea forgotten, Barbara hastily unpacked and stored her shopping and headed straight for Azhar's appartment. Knocking on the door, she prayed things had not gone to badly, but when Azhar opened, she could see on his face that things were indeed bad.

"Kiddo!" Barbara called out, "I brought you a little present!" Thank goodness she'd picked up a pair of pretty hairclips at the supermarket for Hadiyyah.

She heard some bustling a round in Hadiyyah's room and then the little girl appeared. She'd been very much crying, and looked completely exhausted.

"Daddy says mummy's not coming back home!" She sobbed and ran into Barbara's open arms.

Barbara carried her into the living room and sat down on the couch with Hadiyyah on her lap.

"Oh Kiddo, I'm so sorry", she murmured into Hadiyyah's hair, "I'm so sorry."

She held the child in her arms, feeling completely powerless to leviate her pain. Suddenly, Hadiyyah stopped sobbing and looked up at her father, who'd sat down next to Barbara, holding an arm around both of them.

"You lied!" she burst out, "You lied to me! You knew mummy wasn't coming back, and you told me she's on a holiday!"

"_Oh, no_," Barbara thought, "_She's way to clever..."_

But before she could say anything, Hadiyyah suddenly struck her father in the chest. Azhar looked absolutely flabbergasted, he'd known this was going to be difficult, but not like this. Hadiyyah had seemed to cope well with her mother's absence, he'd not known that all this anger and sorrow was just waiting to burst out. He cursed himself. He should have know his sensitive, clever little girl was suffering.

"I'm so sorry Hadi, I'm so sorry... I didn't know how to tell you. I missed mommy too, you know, and in the beginning I was still hoping she would be back. I was so angry with her for leaving I didn't know how to deal with it." He was nearly crying now, and Hadiyyah looked at him, tears still flowing, mouth open, breathing heavily.

Barbara took out a handkerchief from her big purse, still hanging on her side. She hadn't had the time to take it off. She helped Hadiyyah blow her nose, holding her tightly. Azhar was leaning on Barbara's shoulder, slowly stroking his daughter's back to calm her down.

Barbara took a deep breath.

"It takes time to get over things like this, kiddo. The pain won't go away anytime soon. Now that you dad has told you about the situation, maybe we could try to contct Angela to see what she wants to do now?"

Barbara felt Azhar stiffen, but to deny Angela access to Hadiyyah if she wanted it was not going to be a good thing.

"For today, I think we've done enough thinking, unless of course you still want to talk, kiddo?" Hadiyyah was completely sweated through and through from exhaustment.

Barbara suddenly made a decision.

"Come along, baby, I'll give you a bath, ok?" She swiftly carried Hadiyyah into the bathroom, opening the tap, making sure the water was just luke warm. She helped Hadiyyah undress and put her into the tub, slowly showering her. When she felt the little girl relaxing and coming out of her state of shock, she lifted her out of the tub, and Azhar wrapped his child up in a big fluffy towel, carrying her off to her bedroom.

Barbara helped Hadiyyah into a new set of panties and a t-shirt, putting her to bed with her covers all the way up to her ears. They both then held her until she fell asleep and then they quietly snuck out of the room, carefully closing the door behind them.

Azhar immediately put his hand on Barbara's shoulder and pulled her close. Together they walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Azhar held Barbara tightly like he was afraid she would run away. She'd been a great help in this crisis, he'd thought she might get frightened about the strong emotions flowing, but instead, she'd been his rock. Again, Azhar was intrigued with Barbara. How could a person with such a big heart and such understanding of other people consider herself inadequate with people?

Barbara put her lips to his forehead and kissed him lightly. She still felt very strange about initiating contact, but she was getting used to it. And liked it very much. She was looking forward to more of the same, and then some.

"Azhar? I would like to make some tea?" She was so thirsty she could have drunk an entire ocean, and she needed some sugar to bump up her energy level.

Azhar was stroking her tummy as a means to calm both of them down, and put his hand in her jeans lining, tugging at it. Barbara decided that meant he wanted her to make the tea, and snuck out of his embrace, heading for the kitchen. She'd been there a couple of times already, and the tea was soon prepared and drunk.

"Barbara, I need to lay down a bit, I feel completely exhausted. Please join me?"

Azhar smiled at her tiredly, and Barbara nodded consent. They both went to his bedroom and just lay down on the bed, Azhar spooning her in and holding her. Barbara had meant to set an alarm on her mobile phone, but fell asleep pretty much as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	6. After glow

Barbara woke up with a start, at first not understanding where she was. She checked her mobile phone for the time: 11 pm. They'd been sleeping all evening, as the matter of fact, Azhar was still sleeping... She needed to use the loo desperately, but didn't want to wake anyone up. She thought about going back to her place, since she needed to get up early the next morning, but leaving Azhar like that didn't sit well with her.

In the end she couldn't wait anymore, and carefully detangeled herself from his hug, and quietly crept off to the bathroom. She put the lights on, and heard her stomach growling. Skipping meals never had been her thing, but she didn't feel like fixing a snack in Azhar's kitchen.

After her trip to the bathroom, face freshly scrubbed, she went into the kitchen for a drink of water, when she suddenly heard steps behind her and felt Azhar's presence.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him, hoping for a yes...

"Yes. Very much. I'll fix us an omelette with veggies, is that ok?"

Barbara nodded, that was just what she needed.

"I'll go and check on kiddo in the meantime, ok? I'll be careful not to wake her."

Barbara headed towards Hadiyyah's room, and quietly open the door, only to see her little sleeping form huddled up in a fetal position. Barbara's heart ached for her. No child should have to suffer. Barbara knew that was not possible, but she felt that Hadiyyah was going to suffer more than most.

Barbara had an idea. She left the room and called softly to Azhar:

"I'll be right back, ok? I'll just get something from my place!"

She left the appartment and hurried to her own little flat, running in without putting the lights on. She knew exactly what she was looking for. Grabbing Terry's teddy, she hastily closed the door and ran back to Azhar's flat. The teddy had comforted her many times, and she wanted to show Hadiyyah how much she cared.

Back in the flat, she crept into kiddo's room and put the teddy under the covers. Hadiyyah stirred, half awake, and hugged the bear.

"Barbara?" she asked.

"Go back to sleep, baby, I just brought you a good friend of mine. I'll tell you more about him i tomorrow, all right?"

"Night, Barbara..."

Barbara returned to the kitchen, where Azhar had wipped together a delicious omelette. Goodness, that man could cook!

They sat down, Azhar pouring two glasses of water for them, and enjoyed their dinner. Azhar put the plates and the glasses into the sink, then taking Barbara by the hand and leading her into his bedroom. She was a bit reluctant, maybe she should go back to her flat?

Azhar smiled at her.

"I'll give you toothbrush and then you stay here?"

"But I don't know how kiddo would react to that?"

"Don't worry, I'll wake you up early. I'll give you one of my t-shirts to sleep in." He held her hand tightly, not wanting her to leave. And he had comforted her the other night, hadn't he? Barbara nodded, she'd stay. She felt a bit odd about sleeping in just one of his t-shirts, but then, she'd decided that she should try more of the intimacy things...

Once in bed, Azhar turned towards her, putting his arm around her. They lay close together and he started kissing her. For a long time, they did just that, and Azhar was caressing her body. Barbara felt like she was in heaven. She started to slowly caressing him too, and felt how he was getting increasingly aroused. Barbara wasn't sure she was ready to go all the way, but she didn't feel like ruining the moment either. Azhar felt her reluctance, and laid her down on her back.

"We won't do anything you don't want to do, baby. I know you're a bit nervous about this, all right? But I don't want you to worry..."

Barbara relaxed.

"Erm. I might not be ready for the full monty here?" She giggled a bit. "And I haven't been able to get any sort of contraceptive... I'll have to see my doctor next week."

Azhar smiled down at her.

"Let's do some more kissing, then. I like that ..." He rolled on top of her and they continued to kiss some more. Barbara felt a gamut of emotions and sensations running through her body, feeling so good, and suddenly she heard herself saying:

"Azhar, it's wonderful. If you want, we can ... we can be together tonight?" Her breathing hitched a bit at the words.

But her words had the opposite effect. Azhar kissed her deeply once more, and then he rolled off her, holding her tightly.

"No, I think I just want to sleep tonight. I'd like our first time together to be without disturbance, and I would like for you to be on a contraceptive, and Hadiyyah should be on another sleepover. We shouldn't risk her waking up..." He smelled her hair.

Barbara suddenly got worried.

"Azhar, would you like more children? I...I would like a child very much... I love Hadiyyah...Azhar?"

Azhar hugged her.

"Yes, I would like a child. But not right away. First I really need to adress the issue of Angela, and Hadiyyah needs to feel better about the situation first. Maybe in a years time?"

He was right of course.

"How fast do you think you can divorce Angela? Because this dating a married man has never been my thing...see?"

"Oh, baby... I usually don't tell, but Angela and I were never married legally. We had a religious blessing ceremony, but legally, it's not valid. We count as common law husband and wife."

Barbara felt guilty about the rush of relief she experienced. Then something hit her:

"Would you not like to get married again? Not right away, of course... But I always thought that a baby should mean marriage. Maybe it's oldfashioned, but you know?"

Azhar chuckeled. His feisty Barbara a complete whoozie for tradition.

"I'd love to marry you. When we have the rest sorted out, we'll set a date, ok? I'd like to see if I can make amends with my family as well, and see my other children with my first wife. This time, I'd like to get things right, you know? An intercultural interreligious relationship isn't easy to begin with, but if we work on it, it could work out. I know all this mess isn't just Angela's fault, I certainly am not always easy to be with, but you've made me see that my anger has hurt both me and Hadiyyah. I'd like to get a new start with you. "

Barbara thought she'd never heard something so romantic in her life, and snuggling into his chest, they both fell asleep.


	7. Azhar's reflections

After telling Hadiyyah about her mum, both Azhar and Barbara lay low for a week.

Hadiyyah was very bright, and would pick up emotional vibes immediately. Barbara missed them dearly, and also the physical contact….. strange how easy it had been to get used to Azhar caressing her. Then, on the Sunday they'd decided on a joint outing to the park, a major case broke, and Barbara was up to her ears in work for over 10 days straight, working over 16 hours a day, and only coming home to sleep and shower.

Azhar was getting more and more worried, she was getting paler and paler, her blond reddish long hair standing out more and more against her this face and her intensive green eyes. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, she came home early one day, while he was working from home and Hadiyyah was still at school. From the window, he could see she was shaking badly, closing her little car, just leaving it in the drive way and heading straight for her house.

He dropped everything at once, and went after her, rushing out of his flat.

"Barbara! Did you close your case?"

Barbara just nodded and continued walking.

He caught up with her just at the door, and followed her in, uninvited. She looked like she was going to faint, and Azhar put his arms around her as soon as they were in the door.

She felt ice cold.

"Bad case?" He asked softly, and again she just nodded, but now she was leaning against him.

He had an idea.

He took her by the hand and led her towards her minuscule bathroom, just housing a child sized wash basin, a small shower and a WC.

She seemed too tired to even protest, so he undressed himself quickly, and then her, turning the hot water on in the shower. As soon as the water was running hot, he lead her into the shower and followed, grabbing the shampoo and the soap from the sink as he went in.

He slowly washed her, and as her tears began flowing, just held her. She'd tell him later about the case, he knew she would. By now, she told him everything. He started kissing her wet face, but she wasn't up to it, so instead, he turned the water off and lead nudged her out of the shower.

The sudden cold made her react, and she buried her face into his shoulder.

He grabbed the towel and wrapped them up in it, taking her hand and walking towards her bed.

Naked they lay down together, Barbara snuggling up, and suddenly the words just started flowing, about a dead women, and Lynley, and Hillier, and other people, and horror.

Then they were quiet. There was not much to say. Azhar could feel her little hand caressing his chest, feeling his chest hair, and his nipples. He thought she might need some relaxing, and began stroking her body, and then her breasts and her sex, until he heard her little moans growing stronger and stronger, and then she relaxed. Azhar's heart swelled with love, when she went limp in his arms.

"I'm off tomorrow." Was the last thing she whispered before falling asleep. Azhar thought:

"And I'll change my appointments, I will, and take good care of you." He'd just have to work a couple of hours in the afternoon, but he could to that from home.

He'd been taking care of a lot of things while she was busy at work. He'd gotten a lawyer to contact Angela and to see what her intentions were. Apparently, after the first exhilarating months of freedom and carefreeness, her want for complete independence had considerably cooled. She had realised she risked to loose her little girl forever, and had readily agreed to talks.

Angela at the moment was pretty much accepting anything he said. He'd arranged for a meeting between her and Hadiyyah next Thursday, with the female assistant to his lawyer present. They both agreed that they needed to reintroduce Angela into Hadiyyah's life gradually and also that at some point they might need some counselling on how to deal best with Hadiyyah's feelings. He would ask for legal and physical custody, but with parental involvement from Angela, and he was pretty sure he'd get it.

Even if she'd abandoned her child, she was still her mother, and Azhar knew Hadiyyah missed her like crazy. Then he'd tried to make amends with his first wife and children. That had not been easy. He'd asked the imam for help, making penitence at the mosque, and praying a lot. The imam had been severe, but understanding.

Living in Britain, he saw a soaring percent of the arranged marriages break within a few years of the union, and he didn't even want to think about all those marriages which were not merely arranged, but forced. He'd counselled a lot of horrified parents through the years, parents who suddenly found themselved with divorced daughters and grandchildren knocking on the door.

He'd contacted Azhar's ex - wife, and as she was currently seeing a man she really liked, and wished for a little bit of free time herself, she'd at least agreed to think about long distance reconciliation. The imam would counsel all of them, and talk to Azhar's sons.

Angela was not the only one committing mistakes.

Azhar had even gone so far as to see if he could possibly afford to take over Barbara's mortgage, which would help her tremendously, and would keep her close, but still give Hadiyyah the possibility to get used to things slowly. The living calculator, that was him. He smiled to himself, looking down at a naked Barbara sleeping beside him. He would talk to her about his plans tomorrow, explaining about Angela and his other children, what he wanted to do, and how he thought that for now, they should wait with moving in together until things were more settled.

He was sure Barbara would give him her usual frank but invaluable advice.

Maybe there was a thing like a zillionth chance? At least he hoped so. And he thought, tomorrow will be a good day, just being with Barbara.

He quietly crawled out of bed, not waking Barbara. He wrote her a long note, saying how he loved her, and to call him when she woke up.


	8. Being together

Barbara had called him, but only to say that she was going to rest all day, but was feeling better already. He'd heard in her voice too, she really was feeling better. They arranged for the next day.

The next morning, Barbara got up early to prepare for the day. She had a strong feeling they were both ready for the next step, and did all the girly stuff. Washed her hair, putting it up in curlers, shaved her legs, she gave herself a pedicure. She felt good about herself, and by the time Azhar came back from bringing Hadiyyah to school, she had the coffee ready. They sat down at her little kitchen table, and talked and talked and talked about things. Azhar told her about the imam, and about Angela, and about maybe meeting his other children. Barbara told him about the case, and how she'd missed him.

She agreed on living separately for the moment, but would not hear anything about him paying her mortgage. No way. Azhar smiled. His proud and feisty Barbara was slowly re - emerging.

Barbara picked up the dirty cups and put them in the sink. Azhar got up behind her, and kissed the nape of her neck, pushing her hair away. He could see how a little shiver went all the way down her spine, and she got goosebumps on her arms. She giggled, and turned back towards him, kissing him.

"I'm ready, Azhar." She suddenly felt shy, and just buried her head in his shoulder.

Azhar was ready too. More than ready actually.

He took her by the hand, and led her to her bed.

He hadn't felt this happy in ages, and Barbara looked absolutely radiant.


	9. M rated part

He undressed her slowly, and she opened all the buttons of his shirt, enjoying it very much.

They lay down on the bed, Barbara still in her bra and panties, and Azhar in his boxers. They caressed each other and kissed, before Azhar rolled her on her back. He supported himself on one arm, and began stroking her body with the other, seeing that she got more and more aroused. He wanted to take it slowly, but it was very difficult.

He sat her up and removed her bra, and then her panties, admiring her petite frame. He bent down to kiss the little scar from when she got shot, and Barbara moaned a bit. She tugged at his boxers, and he took them off immediately.

He suddenly remembered something, and hastily went for his pants. Barbara had not been able to see her GP, and he'd bought some protection just in case. He was very happy now, that he'd thought of this.

He'd gone a bit overboard, buying three different kinds. He laughed at her perplexed expression:

"One is superthin, one is with knots, and one is with strawberry taste. I think the strawberry one is for another occasion….."

Barbara giggled. She felt all her nervousness evaporating, seeing Azhar like an overeager teenager with a collection of preservatives…..

" I think maybe the thin one?" she said, still giggling. This was fun.

Laying down beside her, he opened the wrapper carefully, and gave her the condom. She looked at it, giving him a questioning look. He took her hand, and helped her put it on. He was painfully hard by now, and very much anticipating was what too come. She stroked him all the way up and down a couple of times, and he reached down feeling her sex, to see if she was ready. She was very wet, and he entered her with one finger, to rub her inside walls.

Barbara was in heaven. She really was ready.

"Azhar? " she just nodded at him, and he rolled on top of her. He separated her folds with one hand, and put the tip of his member in her opening, slowly pressing forward. She was still a bit nervous, and cramped a bit. He kissed her until she relaxed, and pushed into her some more, until he felt her initial resistance. He looked down at her, and felt a surge of desire and love.

He felt like he'd been waiting for Barbara his whole life.

He penetrated her completely, listening to her little moans. It must have been a bit painful, because her breathing hitched a bit. He rested inside her, kissing her, until he could feel her starting to move underneath him. He pulled in and out a couple of times, to lubricate her, and when he felt she wasn't in pain anymore, he picked up the pace.

"Close you muscles around me, move with me, baby." He whispered. He would love for her to come their first time together. He put her legs together, holding her tightly, making the friction even more intense. He could feel how she was starting to get the hang of things, her moans becoming louder.

And suddenly she came. It was so intense, Barbara felt like her body was on fire. Azhar felt her going quiet underneath him, and hugging her tightly, pushed into her faster and faster, until he just exploded.


	10. Conclusion

Afterwards, they just lay in bed together. Azhar held her in his arms, trying desperately not to fall asleep. He usually did that after sex, it drove Angela nuts, and now he wanted to do things better with Barbara. To his great amusement, she knocked out pretty much immediately.

She slept like a baby, looking content and at peace. Azhar was so happy, he could just have cried. Everthing would be all right. They'd organise their weird little family in the best of ways, and he'd marry Barbara as soon as Hadiyyah was recuperating from the trauma with Angela leaving.

A new chapter in both of their lives had begun.

FIN


End file.
